Victories?

First off, I write this blog from my perspective, and my opinions on things. In some senses I am an outsider, a non-activist, who has not been part of the LGBT movement until very recently. And in another sense I am an gay man approaching 30 (although I will never get there) who has been a small part of the fight for years. I was at the statehouse in Boston seven years ago when same sex marriage became legal. I have survived a violent bias crime and then spoken out. I have fought for my right to marry my fiance in DC and then became the 20th couple to apply for our license on the first day it was legal here in the district. And somehow we became a symbol for marriage equality by entering in and doing well in a contest for Crate and Barrel to try to win our wedding. So, with all of that said, my posts are based on my experiences and how I personally feel about the movement, and my very small role in it.  The other night while out to dinner with my fiance and a friend who shall remain nameless we spent time discussing the movement. We started talking about all of the fights and what would be happening in the next few months. We talked some strategy and what different groups could contribute to help us gain victories. This got me thinking about what can be defined as a victory in the LGBT movement. Do we need to get the big victories? Do we need to immediately pass the "Full Equality Act" I discussed in my previous post? Absolutely, that would be a huge victory, but maybe focusing on the smaller ones first would be beneficial. And are these victories really that small? What about the Hate Crimes Bill, is this full equality, no but it is a victory. I consider it a huge victory because I am the victim of a hate crime, one I was lucky to survive. This bill will put attackers behind bars for a longer period of time and keep our community safer. If judges apply these laws strictly and properly this can positively affect millions of LGBT Americans. I would say that is a victory. Marriage Equality? Yes, our marriages are not recognized federally, but on the state level we are making some progress. Will we win them all? Probably not right away but we are making steps forward, 7 years ago same sex couples couldn't get married at all in the US. Now at almost 30, I am engaged and have my marriage license and I will be legally married in Washington DC, the capital of this fine country. How about, "Yes Homo Mayor" Craig Lowe won the elections in Gainsville, Florida even though he was facing some hateful messages being thrown at him by opponents. But why does a mayor in Gainsville Florida make a difference? It makes a difference because it shows a strong gay man in a position of power. It makes a difference because there is a visible role model for LGBT youth. It matters because it shows those who oppose equality that it doesn't matter who we love, we can still do the job. Sure this is a small victory, but it matters. Why does a wedding contest matter? When my fiance and I entered the wedding contest we thought it would be fun, but what happened is we made a statement for equality. Win or lose we were second place in the votes and we put a positive face on same sex marriage in an open and very public forum. This is a small victory, but it matters. Over the next few weeks and months and years we need to accept our small victories and keep pushing forward for more small victories. It's not true that Obama has done nothing for us, he has, and hopefully another small victory will be the passage of EDNA very soon. We all need to do our part, we all need to call Congress, we all need to protest, and speak out, and act out, and do something. But as we string these small victories together we can achieve equality.